So, this post doesn’t really have much to do with the act of driving.  Cars are involved, but this is more so me complaining about pedestrian actions.  Filing this complaint to the Board of Cheeses and Whine.

A. Pedestrians at crosswalks

  •  At least they’re using a crosswalk!  1 point for them.  There are major problems with this system though:
    1. Peds often don’t make it clear that they are attempting to cross.  This manifests in people that want to cross waiting a good three feet away from the curb, or people standing at the curb with no intention of crossing the road.  They’re just watching cars go by apparently.
    2. Peds, for some reason, love to wear all black at night on roads with minimal streetlights.  Look out for these crazy phantom wanna-bes.  You cannot see them until they turn to look at you and are blinded by your high beams.
    3. Landscapers tend to place bushes next crosswalks.  People may appear from behind said shrubbery when you are least expecting it.
    4. People ignore those “do not walk” signals all the time.  So, even if you have a green light, if someone decide to saunter across the road right in front of you, you should slam on your breaks and potentially cause a five car pile up. Apparently hitting someone even though they are in theory running a red light and it should be their fault, it is still blamed on you.
  • When approaching a crosswalk, slow down, but not to the point where you’re stopping or pissing off the person behind you.  As you are approaching the crosswalk, look at both sides of the road, determine if any peds are coming, and if any are, ask if they are close enough that you have to stop.  If you are bad with calculating such information, just stop if you see someone approaching.

B. Peds not at a crosswalk

  • These people are either in a hurry, not aware that crosswalks exist, in a residential area, or stupid.  The latter is indicated by walking, very slowly, across a busy 4+ lane road… in front of a heard of on-coming traffic… at night… wearing all black… in the rain…  I digress.
    1. This is an illegal act called “jay walking”
    2. You still have to stop for these morons.  Honking is acceptable if they are not running or at minimum walking at a brisk pace.
    3. You can also honk at them if you have had to slow down to a ridiculously slow speed or stop movement all together and they do not show some sign of gratitude.
  • These people tend to appear out of mother fucking no where and have the ability to completely ruin your driving experience.  They are also often times teenagers and/or crackheads.

C. Peds not on the road

  • Try to stay off of sidewalks.  Peds belong on the sidewalk—cars do not.  While offroading, peds should know whether or not there will be motorized vehicles where they plan to be walking.  If there are, they should be constantly listening for the exhaust notes of said motorized vehicles to make sure they are not about to be run over (I’m sure we’ve all seen those youtube videos).  Motorists should make sure they’re not driving all crazy, preventing the peds from reacting in time.  People are slow.

All kinds of bad from the BMW driver here…